99% Invisible has always been an S-tier podcast. But the series “A History of the United States in 100 Objects” may be their best work.
Object #19 is a telephone: the Western Electric 500 Series. This phone, produced from 1949 to 1984, serves as a backdrop for an exploration of communication, technological advancement, monopoly power, design thinking, latency in conversation, incentives, and repairability.
The episode also reminded me of the great paradox of connection: our potential for connection is greater than ever, and yet so many people feel isolated.
Inadequate connection is a common thread in my work. I really don’t think you can address depression or addiction or any other mental health concern without strengthening relationships.
So as we build antidepressant lives, we have to courageously seek more connection.
There isn’t always a simple path to greater connection, but there are common themes: depth is more important than breadth; vulnerability fosters vulnerability; close relationships come with more joy and more pain than casual friendships; work friends may not be durable friends; you’ll probably initiate more calls than you receive; no one will agree with all your opinions; you’re not a great fit for everyone; and you can’t be a better friend without becoming a better person [1].
Better connection rarely starts with some grand gesture. It’s built from almost imperceptibly small steps. Yes, we may eventually need to risk rejection, make that difficult call, apologize, or express ourselves more vulnerably. But those steps may be too big for today.
I hope you’ll join me today in taking a small step toward better connection. (I think I’d better call my mom.)
Footnotes
[1] I recognize that many problems of connection are systemic, and that individuals can’t fix all of these issues. But I’m also a pragmatist, and so I try to focus my efforts on the things I can control. My dialectical behavior therapy friends say it more simply: “You may not have caused all your problems, but it’s still your responsibility to solve them.” That’s always been true for me.